Mama, I'm Swollen

Cursive Mama, I'm Swollen Lyrics
1.In The Now

Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know

We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We're wearing out our heels
On a road to hell

While history repeats
The present won't repent
So history repeats
Cus present won't repent
So history repeats
Cus present won't repent
Repeat repeat repeat

Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now
Don't wanna know what I know
Don't wanna live in the now


2.From The Hips

I'm at my best when I'm at my worst
I'm at worst when it's not rehearsed
I don't wanna know the goddamn words
I don't wanna have to spell it out
Don't wanna mumble what i'm trying to say
I wanna scream it from my foaming mouth
Shoot out the lights and ride away

I'm at my worst when I'm at my best
I'm at my best when I'm trying to look
And think and talk and sing and read and write
Like all the rest
We're all just trying to play our rolls
In a play that runs ad nauseam
I hate this damn enlightenment
We were better off as animals, right?

We're at our best when it's from our hips
From our hips we don't give a shit
It just feels good and that's no sin
It's the only way to feel alive
The closest thing to being born again
And when baby comes it's job well done
Roll in the hay, oh roll around the sun

We're at our worst when it's from our lips
From our lips we caused a rift,
And world has fallen in
From babble to ball room brawls
Our words have formed a death sentence
And I wish that we had never talked
Our hips said it all

And I wish that we had never talked
Our hips said it all


3.I Couldn't Love You

Love may be man-made
But it must exist
It's what you want the most
And most resist
Love's polluted
No, no, it's pure
It's convoluted
One thing I could say for sure
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore

It's a game of fetch
We'll never win
You throw me out
It brings us back
You throw me out again
Loves an affliction
No, it's a cure
It's a contradiction that harms and heals
Adores and abhors
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore

Love is a tantrum
Love is an interlude
Love is an instinct
Not now, dear, I'm not in the mood anymore

No, no, no, no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

It's no big deal
It's not worth losing sleep
You over-analyze
The simplest things
Love's what you take
But can never give
Love's what you hate
You'll never figure out what it's for
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore


4.Donkeys

Don't lie, where have you been?
Your teeth are red, your eyes are peppermints
Sailing out to sea with your new best friend
You don't like the way you live so you play pretend
But isn't it time you act your age?
You got a mortgage on your shoulder, got a babe on the way
You shrug it off with a jackass grin
Thinking once you clean up you're going to do it again
He says
Whoa, oh, oh no
I'm going to Pleasure Island, I don't want to come home
Whoa, oh, oh no
The reverend says beware, he swears we're going to hell
We may be donkeys but at least we have a tale to tell

Don't start with the slap on the wrist
I don't need no cease and desist
I ain't fooling around and it ain't no sin
So you best be stepping back because ugly ultimatums
And never you mind what your old maid says
There ain't nothing to complain so long as you're earning bread
She's got a way of getting under your skin
She plants a little seed of doubt, the guilt blossoms
She says
Whoa, oh, oh no
You're going to Pleasure Island, you can never come home
Whoa, oh, oh no
The problem with you, kid, is you can't say no
You can't take a little nibble, you got to lick the bowl

I pushed off, I'm sailing away
And I ain't looking back
I can't look at that face
This just might be my greatest mistake
So when the future turns away for the present's presence
My life was born of pleasure, but it sure wasn't pleasant
He says
Whoa, oh, oh no
I'm going to Pleasure Island, I ain't never going home
Whoa, oh, oh no
I'll make an ass out of myself before I say I'm broke
Yeah, I'll soon be bucking around in the mud
Whoa, oh, oh no
I'm going to Pleasure Island, I ain't never going home
Whoa, oh, oh no
The reverend says beware, he swears we're going to hell
The sheriff says be careful, they're going to throw us in jail
We may be donkeys but at least we have a tale to tell


5.Caveman

I want to live life duty free
Let my instincts take the lead
I want to take what I can get
Don't want to choose don't want to beg
I want down from this family tree
I don't need no upward mobility

I want to unlearn what I've learned
Want to unearn what I've earned
Want to burn my bridges down
Find a place I can't be found
This is my manifesto destiny
Tear down this awkward mobility

Because I'm tired of standing upright
The taller we become the more
dollars we can grab from that highest branch
And then step on your back given the chance
But not me I'm a bipedal backpedaler just as sure-footed as I
can

I'm no high society man
No suit and tie, no Dapper Dan
I'm no happy family man
I'm no husband, ain't no dad
I'm a goddamn caveman
This upward mobility is more than I can understand
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I'd rather be all hands and knees
Yeah, I'd rather be swinging in the trees
With the monkeys and the junkies
and bums and sloths and jailbird canaries
Yeah that's me I'm a bipedal
backpedaler from sea to shining sea


6.We're Going To Hell

Don't tell me what you've done
Cus I don't wanna know
You say it's not so hard
Just let your conscience go

You're flashing me that politicians grin
You got your image squeaky clean
You've such a fetching smile
But a maw with sharp teeth

We're going to hell, we're going to hell
We're going to hell, we're going to hell

So show me some remorse
Show me a little guilt

Don't tell me we're just animals
Awaiting our next kill

I've been disciplined by religion, by fear
So I can't quite seem to keep my thought pure
I've a hunger for the deviant
And a thirst for worse

We're going to hell, we're going to hell
We're going to hell, we're going to hell my friends

So what's that something sinister inside
We act so civilized
Devils in tuxedos
Our sorted hearts are far too hard to hide
What's that neath the floorboards?

Boom boom
Boom boom
Boom boom

We're going to hell, we're going to hell
We're going to hell, we're going to hell


7.Mama,I'm Satan

You're going to do what I say
And say what I say
You stretch your peacock feathers
You're always on display
Don't act so goddamned conflicted
You wouldn't have it any other way

You're going to write down these words
And pass them along
You're going to fill your book
With your rights and wrongs
You're going to tell your lurid world
The true intentions of these songs

I'm writing out a confession
Every record I've written has left me smitten
A career in masturbation
All in all we're pawns
The ego of mankind stirs in us all

You want to wipe that slate
And start all over again
You want to hide your face
In shame of what your grandpappy did
Pretty soon here we'll all be grandfathers
And our offspring will sing the same shit

The world was built on ego
It was built on slaves
The world was built on a tickle
Between our legs
Come on, you big strong man
You wouldn't have it any other way

I'm writing out a confession
My fathers and brothers
Raped your sisters and mothers
We are the sons of butchers
All in all we're pawns
The darkness of mankind stirs in us all

I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I'll drag you out
I'll drive you out
I'll drug you out
I'll tear you out
I'll cut you out
I'll kick you out
I'll push you out
I'll pull you out
I cast you out
I'll curse you out
I'll shut you out
I'll shit you out
I'll clean you out
Grab a rope and hang you out to dry
Now I'll damn you out
I cast you out
I'll shove you out
I'm staying
All in all we're pawns
The darkness of mankind stirs in us all


8.Let Me Up

Diseased heat
August on the 101
Let me up
The pale moon
Offers no consolations
Would you let me up?
Mosquitoes fat with our marrow
Ebb and flow through the gumbo
This humid bouillon a cesspool
Stop
Won't someone please let me up?
We're buoyed in
Atop the mercury
Let me up
We're the salt of the earth
From a cell of the surf, this universe
Well let me up
Let me up
(Why won't you let me up?)
I once had gills but they closed up
Had webbed feet but they dried up
Still have lungs but they're sewn up
Stop
Stop
Won't someone just let me up?
Oh
We don't exist
In an instant
Let me up
There's a hole in the floor
As black as my momma's womb
Those were the days
Won't you let me up?
I can't stop thinking of the time
I was swallowed in the brine
Won't you let me up?
Let me up
Mama, the planet is a placenta
Pull the plug
Let the heavens rise above
Won't you let me up?
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
I can't stop dreaming of the day
I got swallowed into space
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
I'm drowning in the egg
Let me up


9.Mama,I'm Swollen

I was alone
I was at home
Until the fabric was torn
The cord was cut
My orbit had begun

I was a simple being
I was simply being
Until I caught my own reflection
In a spoon

I am the egg
I am the spark
The fire in the dark
I am fertilized, fully actualized
A loaded gun
Born near the blood red sun
Born near the blood red sun

I am not ignorant
I am intelligent
I'm not an ape
I am the truth

I am religion
I am politics
I am a psychoanalyst
I'm an inkblot shaped like Zeus
I am the way

I'm not an egg
I'm a runny yolk
Got no faith, I got no hope
I'm the joke of all existence
I am no one
Burning beneath the blood red sun
Just a burning beneath the blood red sun

I am the body and the blood
The earthquake and the flood
I am the cancer born
and growing in each and everyone

To the beat of a blood red sun
To the beat of a blood red sun


10.What Have I Done

A year now and nothing much has changed
Holed up in a motel in El Paso
This was meant to be my great escape
But, I got lost along the way
Amongst free HBO (Court TV) and take-out
Going to write my Moby Dicks
More like scratching lyrics on paper plates
I spent the best years of my life
Waiting on the best years of my life
So what's there to write about?
What have I done?
What have I done?
So is this my destiny?
From starlight into eternity
The gods must be laughing down at me
Ha, ha, ha

A traveling salesmen at twenty years old
Stranded in Ann Arbor with a flat tire
And I watch the sun sadly set
Any younger, I may have wept
Much older, I wouldn't notice
But I was out there in the world
Yeah, then the world, it passed me by
I was telling everyone back home
That I was taking it by storm
Instead, I watched it from the roadside
What have I done?
What have I done?
So are these the best tales I can spin?
A boy waiting to begin
A man with no memoirs
What have I done?
What have I done?
You're young and you're going to be someone
Then you're old and you're ashamed of what you've become
Well, take a look around you
You're preaching to the choir
Oh, oh, oh

What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?